I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We talked him into tasing himself.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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