I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
