so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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