just come out here and I will go home with you...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
