I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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