Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
