The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
