I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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