Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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