dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
