Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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