i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
