All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
