He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.