Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start