My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Naked. naked and bneed help.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
