Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
