Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
