I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize