I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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