Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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