oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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