Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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