So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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