why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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