chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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