Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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