Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
