you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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