JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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