just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
