I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
