The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
