Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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