wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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