i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
