im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
