I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize