whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize