The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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