that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
