if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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