you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
