I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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