so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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