She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
