Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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