Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
