dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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