That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
