I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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