He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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