I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
