Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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