Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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