Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
