There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
