I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
