Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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