ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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