If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
